Give Me Something To Believe In
by Serendipitously-SteamPowered
Summary: He was in denial, drowning in it. Ryou just knew he would come back and be a family with him and his newborn. He had to be. It was what they always planned, right? "Ryou..." Bakura sighed. "He's been gone for a while now and he hasn't returned any of your calls. When do you actually think he's coming back?"
1. Chapter 1

**Give Me Something To Believe In**

**A/N: A new chapter fic for the lovely readers.**

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"Watch her head." Ryou whispered as he reluctantly handed over his newborn into the arms of Bakura. He still wanted to hold his child, but figured he would let his dearest friend have a turn. Ryou had given birth a few hours ago and was understandably exhausted, but he wanted to stay awake until Akefia had arrived. He wanted to see the man he loved hold his child for the very first time, but...it seemed as though he wasn't going to show up. In fact, Ryou hadn't seen him in an entire week. He had not heard from him at all. No phone calls, not a single message. He had no idea where he was, but he was hopeful that he would show back up. To be honest he was more so in denial. He blatantly ignored the signs, pretending that everything was fine when in reality, nothing was. He knew deep down that Akefia did not want to see his child, nor did he even _want_ a child. He only pretended to be excited, while doing as little as possible to help Ryou prepare for the arrival of their first-born. The entire time he was planning to leave when responsibility was right on his door step.

"She's precious." Bakura murmured. "Perfect." he softly caressed the child's face, pushing snow-white hair behind her ear. "What are you naming her?"

"Akefia and I agreed on Mikasa." Ryou spoke, voice a little strained and weak. He truly needed his rest.

Bakura took a seat in the chair that he pulled next to the bed. "Right. Why don't you sleep? You're all worn out." he murmured, holding the infant close, swaddled in her little white blanket.

"Uh uh." Ryou shook his head. "Akefia's coming soon. I want to see him with the baby."

"You won't be able to leave the hospital for a couple of days and it's getting late. Maybe he'll show up tomorrow and he'll see the baby then. You did leave him a message on the phone, right?" Bakura knew that Akefia would never show up. He just didn't want to stress Ryou with the truth. "Get some rest. Please."

Ryou gave a soft sad sigh. "Yeah. Okay..." he couldn't argue with him any longer. He was right after all. "Will you wake me up if he comes tonight?" He turned his head to look at him as he asked.

Bakura could see that his eyes were pleading for him since he no longer had the energy to. "Don't worry, I will." He felt pity in his heart when Ryou give a soft smile and close his eyes. Bakura's promise made it okay for him to relax, rest, forget about wondering when Akefia would appear. The boy drifted off in a matter of seconds.

Bakura looked down at the infant in his arm and unwrapped the blanket so that her tiny hands would be free. His heart warmed at the sight of the baby in his arms, wiggling around, eyes bright with wonder for the world around her. She knew nothing more than what she saw and even then she didn't understand t. She was blissfully ignorant. Bakura was glad of that. That way she wouldn't know that she was unwanted by the very man who was supposed to protect her throughout her life. Her father...

Bakura grew angry. "Cowered." he growled lowly. "How dare he abandon you and Ryou?"

The baby's only response was a soft coo and wiggle, doing as an innocent baby would. She had no idea. Not one clue.

"I'll be the one to protect you. I'll love you like he's supposed to, little one." Bakura made a promise to the small bundle in his arms. "Since he's gone, I'll raise you like my own. How does that sound?"

The baby merely rolled her heavy little head to the side a little, yawning. Her eyes drooped and she whined softly. It was time for her to rest as well. Bakura stood up slowly and moved over to the bed for the child, laying her in it gently. Bakura then moved back to his seat and looked over Ryou's sleeping form. He was so sad for him. The boy was in so much denial that it was practically radiating off him. He sighed and shook his head. Why were things so messed up? Why did he always have to watch his friend go through shit, always having hope for what was worth nothing.

Akefia was never a good guy. Why did Ryou love him? Akefia drank and stole, partied and cheated. There was even a time when he had put his hands on the poor boy. Why? Why was he in love with him? Why did he hope and wish for him to come back? Why? Bakura couldn't fathom it. What did it take for him to realize it? Akefia was scum, dirt and shit in one tightly coiled pile. Ryou deserved so much more.

Bakura had a fleeting thought of finding someone better for Ryou, but tossed the idea. Ryou just needed to focus on his baby for the time being. Dating could be put aside for a long while.

The minutes ticked by as he thought to himself and he closed his eyes, only opening them when the nurses came in to check on things. He kept his eyes on Ryou and the baby throughout the night then, only sleeping when he just could not stay up anymore, which was dawn.

The required few days that Ryou and the child need to stay in the hospital had passed and all that was left for them was paperwork and the mandatory 'How to properly swaddle your baby, hold your baby, put your baby in a car see and etc.' video.

They got to the signing of the birth certificate and since Akefia still wasn't around, Ryou left a spot blank. "He'll sign when he gets back." He said, tone cheery as though he wasn't abandoned by the father of his child and instead was only waiting on him to get back from the corner store.

"Ryou..." Bakura sighed. "He's been gone for a while now and he hasn't returned any of your calls. When do you actually think he's coming back?"

Ryou drew his lips into a tight line like he didn't know what to say,or more like he didn't want to answer at all. "He's...gonna come back so don't worry about it. " he murmured after a moment.

Bakura wanted to say something more on the subject, but he had hoped that Ryou would come to his senses with the few words he'd already said. Besides that he didn't want to make him upset by shoving reality down his throat.

"Well, until he does, let me stay with you and help you with the baby. It wouldn't feel right letting you go home all alone."

Ryou thought about it for a moment. "I suppose that'll be fine. You can have the guest room."

Bakura nodded and got Ryou's things together for him so they could finally head off. Ryou held Mikasa in his arms until they got to the car, then as the video instructed, he put her in the car seat safely and kissed her forehead.

"Papa loves you, dear. My darling beautiful treasure, just wait until your daddy sees how beautiful you are." he smiled at her, cooing softly to the child.

After making sure the car seat was completely secured, Ryou got into the passenger side and buckled his seat belt before being driven home.

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**A/N: I had so much fun with this chapter. Follow me on tumblr at serendipitously-steampowered for updates on progress and maybe even previews to new chapters. Also Reviews give me strength so yeah...do it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Endless tears.**

**A/N: So...**

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_Hey, it's Akefia, leave a message. Beep._

"Hey, Aki, it's me again. Um...just wanted to see how you were and if you got the pictures of Mikasa that I sent. She's healthy and happy. " Ryou spoke into the phone as he sat on the couch, legs folded underneath him. " 'Kay so...call me when you can. Come home soon. I love you." he hung up the phone.

Bakura watched him from across the living room, frown in place. He felt so much pity for the boy who still had not accepted the fact that he's been left so far behind by the man he loved so dearly. It had been another full week. How did Ryou not see that he wasn't coming back. Akefia had even, at some point, while Ryou was in the hospital, had come back to the home and had taken all of his clothes, all of his belongings and the money that Ryou had saved up in the foot locker under his bed. Wasn't that a sign enough? Why wouldn't Ryou just wake the hell up?

Bakura watched Ryou sigh and lean his head on the arm of the couch. He looked...like he was in thought. Bakura had hopes that he was clawing his way back into reality.

"Akefia isn't gonna like it that you're here. When he comes back, you're going to have to move back out. Not to be mean, but you know..." he murmured.

"Right." Bakura gave a very exasperated sigh. "I'm gonna go check on Mikasa, kay?" he murmured and stood up, making his way out of the living room and up to the nursery. Mikasa was just waking up from her nap and was beginning to whine for her next meal.

"Don't worry, I've got you." he picked her up, cooing softly to her and taking her back downstairs. "Hold her while I go make her formula." he spoke to Ryou and watched as he held out his arms to take his baby. Bakura found it redeeming that at least Ryou cared for his baby. He was a little distracted at times when he started talking about Akefia, but other than that, he took good care of Mikasa so far. Bakura went on to make her bottle while Ryou snuggled Mikasa and tickled her tummy.

"My darling little treasure." he peppered her face with loving kisses even as she wiggled and whined. She was still hungry after all. "Oh please don't cry, darling. Bakura will be here with your bottle, then you'll be nice and full. " he rocked her gently. "Shh, Papa loves you. Papa loves you so."

Bakura soon returned with a bottle, perfect for the baby. He handed it over to Ryou and he placed it to Mikasa's mouth. The infant suckled eagerly, glad to finally have it.

"So. I called him again." Ryou murmured softly as he fed the child, a soft smile on his face. "I sent him some pictures the other day. It was of Mikasa in that cute little bottle I made her."

"Yeah. I know. You've been calling him for a while now. " Bakura murmured back. This had to stop. He needed to just move on already. Bakura was tired of seeing him in such a phase. He needed to heal and finally find his way back to true happiness. "I think it's time to realize it. His clothes are gone. He's gone. He hasn't called you or answered a single message. He is not coming back. He is gone. Please push out of this veil of denial!" He said, voice stern and harsh so suddenly, but it needed to be.

"Stop it. Why would you say that? It's a lie " Ryou's voiced cracked and strained. He felt a lump in his throat as he tried keeping it together and holding back tears. Bakura's words, _the truth_, hurt him bad. "I- I just...he's gonna come back, he's gonna come back!" Ryou trembled, tears beginning to rain down on Mikasa's face, though it hardly bothered the infant while she was busy feeding.

Bakura moved over to him with a soft sigh. The boy needed him now more than ever. He felt as though things were finally beginning to get to him. All Ryou needed was an extra push and someone to catch him when he fell. Bakura brought Ryou and Mikasa into his arms. The boy was sobbing into his shirt, Bakura could feel the pain that was breaking him apart inside. He needed this though. He needed to be forced back into reality.

"He left. He left and he's not coming back because he's...a selfish coward who doesn't care about anyone, but himself and I think you've known that for a long time now, Ryou." he said. "You have to accept it."

"Nooo, N-no! Ac-accept that I-I'm all alone? W-hy w-w-ould he..." Ryou could barely finish a sentence through his sobs. "I-I-I can't...w-w-why would he..."

"Shhh..." Bakura held him close. "I'm here. You're not alone. I swear I'm not going to abandon you or Mikasa. You aren't alone, neither of you are."

Ryou looked up at him with his big, watering eyes that just kept spilling over with tears. He couldn't comprehend it. Why would he stick around and take up another man's responsibility? Was this just plain pity, feeling sorry for him? He had to ask. He didn't want to be a burden. He didn't want to depend on someone who could just leave anytime he wanted to because he didn't even have to be there in the first place.

"W-why?" he manage to say. "Why w-when Mik-asa's not e-even yours? We're n-not in a relationsh-ship..." He had to know. He wanted to know why he wanted to do this?

"Because I care for you. You are my closest friend." he said, gently wiping his tears away as they streamed down. "Isn't it obvious? You've always helped me, no matter what it was, you were there for me. Now I'm the one here for you. " he smiled and kissed his forehead. "Your child needs a father. Not just you, but someone she will one day think of as her hero, someone she could believe in and count on just as much as she would you."

Bakura's words made Ryou shed even more tears. He couldn't take it. Even if it was meant to cheer him up, make him feel secure again, it made him hurt more inside while at the same time healing wounds. Why? Because it was coming from the wrong person. He appreciated him greatly for it all, but damn it, why couldn't it be Akefia sitting there, holding him and Mikasa in his arms, comforting him and guiding him through a storm of confusing emotions.

"Bakura..." he blubbered, soaking Bakura's shirt with more tears as he cried into it. "Please don't leave meee!" he cired. "I-I need -I ne-need..."

"I swear, I won't." he murmured and rocked him and the baby gently who had began to whine, bottle cast away. She'd had enough of the formula and Ryou's crying. Bakura took her and leaned back from Ryou so he could gently pat her on her back. She needed to be burped, which she eventually did.

Ryou watched the two silently, still trembling. He was weighing things in his heart and in his mind. He still wanted Akefia. He missed him dearly. He wanted him, craved him, loved him...but he was gone. He knew that now, he knew it from the moment he didn't show up at the birth of his own child as well. He just didn't want to accept it then. He knew it now though and was well on his way to coping with it. Then there was the matter of Bakura. He'd know him his whole life. He'd been with him since the first finger painting session in kindergarten all the way to now. Bakura had even lived with him from the age of 10 to 18 when things got rough at home for him. They were like brothers. Ryou loved him and if anyone was going to help raise his child, _be a father_ to his child, he would want it to be him.

"Bakura..." he spoke softly.

"Yes?" Bakura looked at him and murmured.

"You're my best friend." He said and leaned on him, wrapping his arms around him and Mikasa.

His heart still hurt. Oh God, it hurt bad, but he had to let it go. This was the first few steps to healing and moving on. Ryou hugged Bakura tight.

"Thank you...for being here." he murmured. "You're...you have no idea how much you mean to me. Hell, I don't know what I'd do without you here..."

"It's okay. Don't even worry about it. Just focus on Mikasa." he handed him the bubbly little bundle.

Ryou smiled warmly at her. "My precious little one. Papa loves you. Papa loves you so much, my darling." he nuzzled Mikasa and showered her with affection. Mikasa cooed and smiled. Ryou held her close to his chest, letting her listen to his heartbeat for a while.

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Mikasa laid on her tummy, looking up at Bakura with sparkling wonder in her eyes as he jingled little toy keys above her. She smiled at reached for them as she tried scooting about like a little seal.

"Can't crawl just yet, little one." Ryou smiled at her from his spot on the couch. "The book said there wouldn't be any of that until about 7 months." he said to Bakura.

"Five more months to go then." Bakura murmured and smiled. "She'll be crawling, then walking, then running...excuse me for sounding cliché, but she's growing up so fast."

Mikasa was 2 months old now. Bakura, in that time had been there in every way possible. He'd earned the right to be called her father so far in Ryou's opinion. He'd fed her, clothed her, played with her and watched over her just as a father should.

Ryou had stopped trying to contact Akefia, though he did still think of him everyday. He thought of him all the time, wishing he was there to wrap his arms around his trembling body as he cried. Ryou had taken up the habit of seeking out Bakura in his bed so he could be held while he sobbed softly into his chest. Bakura didn't mind it. Ryou was grieving, he needed to let it all out and Bakura was there to help him along.

"Yes, our little girl is growing up. I can't believe it's already been two months. Where does the time go?" He murmured.

"Where Indeed." Bakura sighed and picked the squirming little baby up into his arms. He kissed her forehead. "How about we all go to the park?"

"Hmm... I'll need to bundle her up. It's a little chilly out." Ryou responded and moved to the nursery to retrieve the clothing needed to defend his dear child against the cold. Meanwhile, Bakura went and got a coat and put it on. It wasn't that cold, just a little chilly.

"Now it's your turn, little one." he tickled her feet and watched her squeal and giggle.

Ryou returned to them with a nice, warm, knitted bonnet and knitted booties. He dressed her up and grabbed her diaper bag on the way out as they left. Ryou placed her in the car seat securely and got into the passenger side while Bakura got in the driver's side. They buckled seat belts and drove off. Bakura turned on the radio,but not loud though. It was some soft indie music of some sort. It was nice for a peaceful car ride.

Bakura looked over at Ryou, seeing that he looked quite content at the moment. He wondered what he was thinking about. He knew that somewhere in his mind, Akefia was plaguing him. Ryou needed closure. Some kind of answer, one word from the man. Bakura didn't think that was even possible however. Unless they went looking for the man who could have been in another country by now, or even dead, Ryou wouldn't be getting any answers.

"Bakura." Ryou murmured, catching Bakura's focus from his thoughts. "Pay attention to the road, you're staring."

"Oh, sorry." he looked back, paying attention to the task at hand.

"What were you thinking about?" Ryou asked, curious about what had him so distracted.

"You." Bakura responded. "Just you."

"What about me? " he batted his eyelashes. Bakura looked at him again and couldn't help noticing how cute he was at that moment.

He blushed, looked back at the road and shrugged. "Nothing. Just...how are you feeling?" he asked.

"How am I feeling...? " he sighed, pondering the question. "I'm feeling...like..." he sighed again. He didn't know. He didn't know at all. Even with all the thought. "I don't know. Like I'm happy, but...asleep. I'm in a deep sleep and even though I know what's up, I'm still waiting for my prince to come and kiss me and wake me up."

Bakura's mood darkened slightly. "Right." he murmured. "I wish I could...help you." He truly did wish he could but...

"How c_ould _you help me. It's not like you can make him come back and tell me...tell me why he...I...I just want to talk to him." Ryou looked down, falling back into his depression.

Bakura didn't want that, he didn't want him in tears again. He had to think fast.

"What if I found him for you?" He said quickly, but regretted it immediately. He didn't want to go searching for him.

"Will you?" Ryou looked up at him with big, pleading eyes. "Will you please, I just want to talk to him." his voice strained and he was near tears. "Please? Please..."

"Okay, Ryou." he sighed. "Please don't cry, I'll do it. I promise." That meant Bakura would have to go on a hunt, visiting the scummiest, shadiest places to find this man. Then he'd have to convince him to come to Ryou and talk to him. It seemed so impossible, but he'd do it. He'd do it for Ryou.

"Thank you so much." Ryou leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You're the best." he murmured.

Bakura smiled a little. "I just want to see you happy again, Ry. That's all." And if that meant putting himself in a hella difficult situation, he would.

Ryou leaned his head on his shoulder the rest of the drive to the park. He was hopeful, content. He believed in Bakura. He knew that he wouldn't fall through on his promise.

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**A/N: Well. Here we go. That was chapter two. I was originally going to have Ryou be in denial for a few more chapters, but I was like, nah, let's get to the point.**

**Read and Review. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Filth in it's lowest form.**

**A/N: I think you can guess what this chapter is all about**

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"I bet you taste like cinnamon." Akefia murmured, lips ghosting over the neck of the blonde haired, bronze skinned beauty in his lap. He snaked an arm around his waist to pull him closer.

"Maybe I do. Maybe you can have a taste and see for yourself." He grinned and tilted his head. He loved the attention.

Akefia ran his hands up his bare legs and thighs, rubbing his hips. He hooked his fingers under the thin string of his nearly non existant underwear.

"I could just slide these right down your pretty little legs. Mmm, and I'd run my tongue up your inner thigh..." he breathed, making the boy shiver and arch in his lap.

"Oh, yes." The bronze beauty purred.

"Why don't you come with me tonight, little dancer?" he breathed, pressing his lips to soft skin and kissing his way up to nibble on his ear.

The dancer responded with another purr and a roll of his hips. "Hmm, you'll show me a good time?" he grinned. He was already sure he would, there was no need to ask.

"Oh, yeah." he breathed and ran his tongue up the shell of his ear. "Let's get going." He lifted him up as he stood and wrapped the dancer's legs around his waist. He'd carried him out. As soon as he could get home, the quicker he could get laid, but there was someone in his way.

In the doorway of the club, stood Bakura, looking quite pissed off at his behavior.

It had taken several nights to track him down, checking every place he assumed Akefia would be. He searched every back alley slum, every bar, every drug den. He asked questions, putting his life in danger because people thought he was a snooping cop. He almost didn't make it back to Ryou a few times. Yes, he was pissed the hell off.

"Well, well." Akefia grinned and put the dancer down so he'd stand by his side. This wouldn't take long. "Funny, seeing you here, Fluffy. Come to get your dick wet? There's some nice pickings on the pole tonight." he chuckled, but all laughs and giggles were over when he was jerked forward by the collar.

"You. Me. Outside now." Bakura gritted out and all but shoved him out of the doors.

"Hey, man, what's you're fuckin' problem?! I'll kick your-"

"Look, just shut up!" Bakura barked, interrupting him.

"Well I like your nerve, you little shit." he snorted sarcastically. "What the hell do you want?"

The more Akefia spoke, the more Bakura had to resist knocking the fucker out.

"Look..." he took a breath. "I just need you to come talk to Ryou. That's all just talk to him, okay?"

Akefia chuckled. "Yeah, I'll fit that into my tight schedule." He gave his sarcastic little answer.

That bastard. Bakura balled his fists.

"Listen, you fucking...uuugh. You have a _child_ and you left without a single word! And for what? So you can run around and screw random floozies!? If you had any shred of common decency, you'd at least come back for ten fucking minutes to say something and see your baby!" He was fuming and that fact that Akefia stood there with a smug look on his face made it worse.

"Yeah, I have better things to do than visit the ol' ball and chain. You know, like living and not being tied down to a baby and a guy who doesn't know how to take a damn hint. He _just _stopped calling my phone 100 fucking times a day. There's no way I'm coming back" Akefia laughed in a spiteful manner. "Unless of course you wanna pay me. You see, I kinda stuffed all my cash in that floozy's g-string."

"Pay you? _Pay you?!_" Bakura growled. "You better be fuck joking because I swear to GOD I will- Uuugh!" he turned and slammed his fist into the door of the strip club, effectively cracking it.

The sight was obviously funny to Akefia, because his snide chuckled could be heard. "Careful, you'll have a stroke."

"Fuck you!" he spat as he turned back around.

"Haha...I tell you what. You give me gas money and I'll swing by maybe...the fifth of next month." He was just adding fuel to the flames now.

Bakura had to close his eyes and just breathe to calm down before he busted blood vessels.

"I'm not going to pay you. That is insane and I refuse to do it. Instead, why don't you man up for _10 minutes _and just come and see them? Please. Do it."

Akefia lit up a cigarette and took a long drag of it, blowing out smoke as he moved to lean against the building. "Why does it matter to you, huh?" he asked. "Why does it matter to you what I do with _my _time?"

"Because what you did to Ryou was low down. He just wants answers. He just wants you to acknowledge your daughter, your own flesh and blood. You don't even have to stay. He just wants you to see her and give him the answers he deserves." He tried reasoning with him.

"Why don't you just fuck him?"

"Excuse me?" Bakura furrowed his brow.

"Fuck him." he blew out smoke. "Then he won't care. As long as he's getting some, he won't keep thinking about why I left. He'll be your problem."

"You are one selfish bastard, you know that?" Bakura looked at him with disbelief.

"Selfish? I just gave you permission to fuck him." He rolled his eyes. "I mean, are you already fucking him?" he grinned. "That must be it. You're fed up with the fact that he keeps thinking about me while he's with you, huh? I understand." he chuckled.

"The hell you do! I'm not in a relationship with Ryou, you dolt, I'm raising your child!" Ryou ranted.

"Then get out of my face and go raise her." he shrugged and ran his hands through his hair with a sigh. "And go tell Ryou I said to fucking drop it already. I don't love him and I never did. Goodbye." He flicked the bud of his cigarette at Bakura's chest.

Bakura shook with anger and hatred. "You are absolute fucking garbage, you know that? You can go ahead and fuck your whore. Don't even think of coming around Ryou again in your life!"

"Yeah, that's the plan, genius." Akefia grinned his smug little grin. "Now go on, run home to Ryou and tell him what I said." he waved his hand dismissively.

It was within his best interest to leave then. _Right then_. If he didn't, he'd run the risk of ending up in jail for beating the douchebag out of him. He just needed to go. He glared at Akefia as he stepped back and moved towards his car. He got in and gripped the steering wheel, still seething as he pulled out of the parking lot and drove off.

Akefia kept his grin as he watched Bakura leave and returned inside the strip club to fetch his stripper.

"What was that all about?" the dancer asked as he was led to Akefia's car.

"Nothin' ,babe, just some bullshit that no one gives a flippity fuck about." He said and pushed him into the back seat. The first round would be in the car.

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**A/N: This was originally going to be longer, but I spit it into 2 parts and made the second part longer. Stay tuned for that.**

**Review.**


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